LR: This honestly coulda been a cheesy porno

As per every Saturday night I arrive downtown around midnight to start working the corners. My glorious chariot of destiny has been treating me good lately and I am making some chedda. Myself and a few of he other guys have what some might say specialties, that is groups that we get rides with more often then others. Its truly a function of how we position ourselves. Capt Morgan is about 5 years older then us and he specializes in cougars. He has a PHD in cougar pickup. Straightup has a thing for black chicks and he is working on his masters. They love him and he loves them. Now my market is a little bit different then theirs but I am fairly new and its turning out nicely. I go with the staggettes. To be more specific, the large groups of single hot girls all jealous because their friend is getting married soon. I enjoy them to say the least.

For the large part I am very direct and natural with them. I say stupid shit like OMG you have to do this its like soo fun. Stupid self amusement stuff that makes me smile and them smile. I usually swing a number or two out of each staggette. But I hate getting numbers, its a settlement. You can’t fuck a phone number. I am having trouble isolating a friend when the bride to be needs all the attention. This is largely a function of the dynamics of a staggette.

That was just a bit of mumbo jumbo, which I feel occurs on a daily basis. Now for the actual meat and potatos of Saturday night. After an hour or so of straight pimpin the honeys I get a call from HBapplebottom. I am sure you can get her favourite song by that name. She is a yoga instructor, hot bod, and very funny. I met her a few weeks ago but have yet to find time for her. Funny how abundance has worked that way. The sexual tension built up between us is through the roof. We have kissed a few times but I always pull away the second it gets to hot for public. Some great text conversations have went on as well…

Zee: you teach yoga, I am jealous. However I do like the warrior 2, what about you?

HBapplebottom: Mines that cobra its fun

Zee: Cobra? Never tried it, does it work in the bedroom? (first thing that pops in my head I always try, besides like I said SEXUAL tension)

HBapplebottom: O my we will hafta see.

Flash forward to early Saturday texting with her.

HBapplebottom: are you coming out to see me tonight?

Zee: what are you wearing?

HBapplebottom: a cute little purple dress

Zee: think sexier

HBapplebottom: hehe, its not your favourite but they are white and silky


I had previously told her that pink lace booty shorts are my favourite underwear to see on a sexy tanned body. Woo hoo kinda fluffy stuff until I pick her up. More specifically her and her 2 friends. Also hot probably a 8.5 and a 7.5. But in all honesty its either a yes or a no, ratings are for porno’s. Albeit porno was the direction I was willing to take this.

I have been in killer shape for a while but 3 months ago watching Fight Club I made the decision to have a godly body. One of epic proportions I was gonna have a Tyler Durden body. Through intense physical training and a diet of glorious standards, I have surpassed Brad Pitt and stumbled upon new territory. These girls know this just by looking. Under these clothes is a slab of meat so desireable you just want a taste. And that’s exactly what they did. After some fluff one pulls up my shirt and the other two start at my waistband and lick up to my nipples. Wow this is getting hot and it’s outside the busiest bar on a Saturday night in the city.

Zee: That’s it you three are coming with me.

Applebottom: hehe okay

I almost threw each girl into my chariot of destiny. Not telling them where we were going and none of them asked. I didn’t even think about what I was doing it was all instinct. We pull up to my car for a moment to grab my streetclothes and I grab some other essentials. During my little jaunt through the city with these dames, my shirt comes off and foursome talk starts happening. I am having trouble containing myself but I pull through.

Enter my lair. Its cold, a little damp, dimly lit. This is the storage garage for my chariot. The three of us enter and I shut the garage behind us. Many people see us enter, I don’t care, neither do the girls, two of them are making out by the time the garage closes. Applebottom jumps on me, instant makeout, hand up her dress. Her ass is insane, yoga does wonders. I tell the other two to come towards us, I tell them to kiss me on each cheek. I turn to face each of them and give a soft sexy 5 second kiss. They are all turned on. I am sure as hell turned on, definetly visible. Now all 4 of our faces are inches from each other and tongues come out. Holy blammy batman! There is me and 3 chicks making out. Honestly it was hot but its awkward, I mostly just kissed each of them for a little bit then they would kiss each other and such.

My shorts are down and they each get a bit of a feel. Then one of them says we should stop, not here, we need to go to bar X. Applebottom and I get a sexy makeout picture, one worthy of a CK model shoot. Her sexy purple dress and my unstifling abs standing there only in my underwear. Shit that sucked, nothing really happened. So we bounced over to Bar X.

Applebottom has been askin me to buy her stuff since we met. And I blow it off. But she just had a bday and the makeout was incredible so I would play into this drink she has been a good girl. I get my bottle of water and her vodka redbull. We ditch her friends for the couches. Sit fluff, kino if you will and more makeout. I pull away after 5 minutes. More fluff. Then a dude shows up. Clearly your AFC, hit sits down. She knows him and I introduce myself before she gets a chance.

Zee: Hey dude, I am Zee whats goin on?

AFC: I’m Jim, you must be the chariot of destiny guy. I just came to say Hi to applebottom you two have fun. (he stormed away)

I thought to myself wow that was random and weird. Then Applebottom says to me… UH-OH, (wait for it… wait for it) that’s my boyfriend. BOOM! And the Eiffel tower comes crashing down. She asks me to sit and wait for her while she runs of to a guys practically crying because I was making out with her for the last five minutes. And I was so confident in a lay later that night.

I don’t sit. The only me would have sat there all night waiting. Instead I continue my night. I am a little thrown off though maybe part of me felt bad about hurting this poor guys feelings or something. So I peace to another bar. This night is one of the few I have had where I am 100% by myself. I finally got my VIP card are done up so the line-ups and shit don’t mean anything for me. Enter bar Y. I walk in an HBcheerleader, whom I can’t decide if I want or not is there. She turned 19 (legal age here) last Monday and is hammered. She is in love with me though, won’t let me out of her sight.

HBgoodhead from Canada day is at the bar too, and looking amazing. So I grab her and peace the bar to head home.

A little longwinded of a story but I think it was worth the whole read, I honestly wish I had a camera to capture everything.

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